Learning From My Mistakes
Here is a message I have shared with both the Grammar School students and the Logic/Rhetoric School students in their assemblies in the last week. It’s something that students need to hear and that both teachers and parents need to reinforce over and over again. In fact, we ourselves need to hear this message!
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Students, one of the most important things you will need to do throughout your life is respond well to your own mistakes. We live in a fallen world, and you and I make mistakes every day. Will your mistakes make you stronger? Or will they tear you down? It’s up to you, really. In a few words, here’s what I want to say: Learning from my mistakes makes me wiser and stronger. Of course, the opposite is also true: Failing to learn from my mistakes weakens me and makes me more foolish.
You are at school to learn. God has entrusted you with the great privilege of learning. This is something that the Lord Jesus did. As we read in Hebrews 5:8-9, “Although he was a son, he learned obedience through what he suffered. And being made perfect, he became the source of eternal salvation to all who obey him.” When we learn, we are imitating Jesus, and we are also fulfilling our purpose as image bearers. Animals don’t learn like we do. You can train a dog or a horse to do certain things, but an animal will never reflect on his learning or grow in understanding. That’s why we’re told in Proverbs 12:1, “Whoever loves discipline loves knowledge, but he who hates reproof is stupid.” When we hate being corrected by those teaching us, we hate learning. We are acting stupidly, like an animal, not like one made in the image of God.
You and I make mistakes. We make them every day. Sometimes those mistakes are moral – we tell a lie or disobey or take something that doesn’t belong to us or break some other command of God. But other times those mistakes are small errors – we write a “b” when we meant to write a “d,” or we add numbers wrongly, or we play the wrong note on the instrument, or we turn left when we should have turned right. How do you respond when you make that mistake, and your teacher or coach points out your error? Proverbs 9:9 shows us the way: “Give instruction to a wise man, and he will be still wiser; teach a righteous man, and he will increase in learning.” In other words, show a wise person her error, and she will thank you. She’ll see how she can improve and will learn from it. In fact, wise people even learn from the mistakes of others: “When a scoffer is punished, the simple becomes wise; when a wise man is instructed, he gains knowledge” (Prov 21:11).
Learning from our mistakes means we are doing what Jesus did. The Lord Jesus is fully human just like you and me. During His time on earth, He didn’t make moral mistakes because He perfectly obeyed His Father’s will. But we could imagine that when Jesus was in Joseph’s carpenter’s shop, He cut a board too short, and his earthly father showed him his mistake. And Jesus was the ultimately wise son who learned from that mistake. He grew wiser and stronger by learning from errors. That’s what it’s like living in a sinful world, and Jesus shows us the way to be a wise son or daughter: learning from our mistakes so that we can gain a heart of wisdom.
Where do you make mistakes? In grammar or writing? In math or Latin? Throwing a baseball or kicking a soccer ball? Learning the violin or piano? Doing chores at home? You can’t get better at any of these things without making mistakes and then learning from those mistakes when someone wiser than you points them out. It’s a struggle, but struggle is a good thing. You become stronger when you persevere through struggles. You learn endurance, gain toughness, and deepen your faith. That’s the way the Bible speaks of the Lord’s discipline. When we struggle because the Lord is disciplining us, it’s good for us. We profit from it (Heb 12:3-11).
I’ve made a lot of mistakes in my time. A lot of them have been really stupid mistakes that I wish I hadn’t made. But I’ve trained myself, after I’ve made a costly mistake, to say to myself, “Well, I got that over with. I never have to make that mistake again!” That’s true only if I learn from my mistakes and grow wiser and stronger as a result.
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In closing, parents, school is a laboratory for growing in virtue: traits like wisdom and courage and faith and love. Lessons in the classroom, homework at the kitchen table, games on the playground – these are all labs where students can learn from the many mistakes they make as they listen well to the adults in their lives. They can develop grit and determination. They can learn to listen better. They can grow to trust their teachers, parents, and coaches more. They can develop their skills and get better prepared for the adult world to come. They can nurture a heart of wisdom. Ultimately, learning from mistakes is a place where our Heavenly Father can be at work to teach us and shape us to trust Him and follow His Son.
The content of what our children learn is important. But what they learn from how they are learning it matters as well. Lord willing, they will learn that learning from their mistakes makes them wiser and stronger.